Birth Mother FAQ
About Adoption in Colorado, Oklahoma, and New York
As a birth mother considering adoption, you probably have a lot of questions. This can be a confusing and challenging time, but you can get the answers and guidance you need when you come to Virginia Frank, Adoption & Surrogacy Attorney. In addition to our considerable experience with Colorado adoption, we offer compassionate, personalized help for birth parents in difficult situations.
Continue reading to review frequently asked questions for birth mothers, or call (303) 756-4673 to discuss your needs. We’re here for you.
The choice of adoption is a positive alternative to an unplanned pregnancy. Many women who find themselves in a crisis pregnancy situation do not search out all of their options. You may be financially unable to support a child or, if you are already raising children, may be unable to support another child. You may be at a place in your life where you are not emotionally ready to care for a new baby.
A mother who creates an adoption plan for her child is placing her child’s best interest above her own. It is the ultimate unselfish act of love for a mother to choose life for her child and do what is best for her child. Adoption is a caring and responsible process that is as natural and loving as parenting. It does not mean that you do not love your child; it means you love your child so much that you will sacrifice your own emotions for your baby. An adoption plan can be whatever you want it to be.
When an expectant mother is considering adoption for her baby, it is much more than just “giving a baby up for adoption.” It means making an adoption plan for her child, and it means a lot of courage and incredible sacrifice on her part. The adoption process varies from state to state.
To start your adoption in Colorado, click here.
The adoption process varies from state to state but, in short, begins with you making contact with a trusted, licensed agency, completing paperwork, visiting a doctor, and reviewing and selecting an adoptive family.
The decision to choose adoption is not an easy one to make on your own. Although it may be a difficult and painful choice, we will be there to provide support, including counseling. We have a caring staff of licensed social workers and Colorado adoption specialists who will walk you through every step of the process. We want to help you choose what is right for you and your unborn baby; whatever that may be.
This answer varies with and depends on state laws. While you don’t necessarily get paid, you may be entitled to receive financial assistance to cover your pregnancy-related expenses. Often, medical expenses will be provided to you as well as safe housing, transportation, food, and other miscellaneous expenses.
The choice of adoption is always at no cost to the birth mother.
We will help you find assistance in paying the medical bills, which include hospital costs. The portion of the medical expenses not covered by private insurance or by state funds will be provided by the adoptive family.
If you are using drugs and/or alcohol, you can still choose adoption. Some expectant mothers will feel uncomfortable disclosing to adoptive parents any drug or alcohol use during pregnancy. It is important for you to: disclose drug and alcohol use, talk with your doctor about prescription and recreational drug use, and inform the pediatrician of baby’s exposure to drugs or alcohol, so you can protect yourself and your baby from child protective services.
If you are in a housing crisis or don’t have a safe home, we can arrange a clean, safe, and comfortable place to stay during and after your pregnancy.
Openness in adoption refers to the amount of contact among birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adopted child. The amount of contact may vary from family to family and, within a family, may change over time. This communication may range from little or no contact; to mediated contact through a third party, anonymous email, or post office box; to ongoing communication with shared identifying information; to occasional in-person contact, holiday visits, or regular communication and visitation when all parties wish it to happen.
Absolutely! All of our waiting families have “profile books” that have many pictures of them, their home, their extended family, pets, and much more. The books discuss why the family wants to adopt and provides a lot of information about the family and their lifestyle. You can meet your adoptive family prior to your child’s birth, and you choose the level of contact you would like to have with them following the birth and the adoption. If you are not comfortable choosing the family, we can help with that as well.
All of our prospective adoptive parents go through extensive background checks and a thorough home study process in order to be approved to adopt. Requirements vary from state to state, but typically the prospective adoptive parents must have a health assessment, child abuse checks, fingerprint-based background checks, and provide proof of their income and financial resources. Prospective adoptive parents are also required to discuss their backgrounds, childhoods, family of origins, and current support systems.
Yes, if you wish they can come to meet you before the baby is born and you can have as much or as little of a relationship with the adoptive family as you want. You also have the opportunity to talk with them over the phone throughout the pregnancy. You can call to let them know how your doctor’s visits are going. If the family is able, and you are willing, they can even attend a doctor’s appointment with you.
You will know as much information about the adoptive family as we can legally give you. However, if you prefer to have a closed adoption with the adoptive family, that is also available.
You can see your baby as often as you want while you are in the hospital. Your Adoption Counselor will help you make that decision and will help you develop a hospital plan that works emotionally for you. We strive to respect the birth mother’s wishes for contact.
In most situations, the adoptive family is at the hospital while the birth mother is in labor. If you would like, the family can even be in the delivery room with you. The agency suggests if they are from out of the area that they come to the area a day or two before your estimated due date. If you deliver early, they will be on the next flight out of their home town. Under ideal situations, the baby leaves the hospital with the adoptive parents. Most times, both you and the baby will be discharged from the hospital at the same time. Your Adoption Counselor will be with you during this emotional time.
No. The consents to the adoption are not taken in front of a judge/to court unless (1) a child falls under the Indian Child Welfare Act or (2) the birth mother’s mental capacity is questioned.
No, we will provide an attorney for you as well as pay his or her fee. The agency will cover all of your legal fees for the adoption.
Ongoing correspondence is definitely an option for you as a birth mother. We require that the adoptive family be open to sending pictures and letters at least once a year until the child reaches the age of 18. You are also able to send the adoptive family letters and pictures for the baby through the agency.
The amount of contact you have is dependent on the openness of the adoption and your relationship with the adoptive family.
The paperwork used to relinquish parental rights is almost always permanent once it is signed. If you wish to change your mind, please seek a qualified Colorado adoption attorney.
This is a very difficult question that cannot be answered here. Please seek the advice of a qualified attorney.
If you are feeling that parenting your newborn is not the right option for you or you feel in your heart that another family is right for your child, you have several options. We can help you develop an adoption plan where you can pick a family, have an open or closed adoption, and have the assurance that your baby’s needs are being met and will have a solid future. Time is of the essence – we recommend that you contact us as soon as possible.